“ahh, una well done o, I hear say awa wife don born, we thank God o, shey na boy or na girl, ahh, na girl, ehen, and na CS she take born di pikin, chai, na ordinary girl pikin she no fit push by herself, hmmn, women of dis generation lazy sha, congratulations madam…”
Just imagine hearing such nonsense few days after going through a torturing labour in a bid to bear a child, and an elderly neighbour says such irritating words, a neighbour who also has children and has gone through the pains of childbearing.
When did it become a competition to have a child through natural means, the pangs of labour differ from woman to woman, just as the pain from menstrual cramps differ, I remember visiting the labour ward of a private hospital around my area one time and I met with a husband who insisted his wife must push the baby out by herself, he claimed it was only a woman who had cheated on her husband that went through Caesarian operation, I was livid, this woman was clearly in pains and her so called husband and in laws could not see that something needed to be done about it, the man refused to authorise the doctor to carry out the surgery and vehemently insisted that he would not be paying for it.
I had to ask the doctor if we could contact the wife’s family and maybe speak to someone who would be willing to cover the cost of the surgery and I was also ready to support with the little I had.
Her Father was contacted and promptly, the woman was wheeled into the theatre, the husband and his family fumed angrily and walked out of the hospital, I had come to visit my sister who had just given birth but I found myself acting as a stand in family member until her own family arrived to care for her, her Father was filled with gratitude, of course, when I left the hospital, I was wondering how the young woman married a beast for a husband, or was it ignorance that kept him with such a disgusting mindset?
If he were the only one with this mindset, it would have been a little easy to correct but I have seen women criticise other women for opting for a CS as if the victory over child birth was not enough, we have often heard of women who died in labour, prolonged labour, excessive bleeding, some were affected by the rhesus factor but never even knew, being able to bear a child alone is a miracle that no one should look down on.
If a woman had a child or all her children through CS, she is no less a woman than the one who gave birth naturally, it does not make her any lesser than a “Hebrew woman”, a woman is a woman, and her life is more precious than any means of child birth.
By Ajayi Titilope
