Fear is an unpleasant and uncomfortable feeling triggered by the perception or assumption of real or imagined danger.
Fear often takes over our lives, gets to the best of us, and influences a lot of our decisions whether it is a fear of making the same mistakes from your past, or the fear of failure, or the fear of success, the fear of what people will say or the fear of the unknown or even the fear of fear itself.
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
— Jack Canfield
Even though we were born with only two innate fears: The fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds, we have all learnt and developed the fear of many things at different times in our lives. Fear can be a major stumbling block that holds us back from being all we can be and truly successful.
Fear shouldn’t be given the power to continue to hold you back, or stop you from creating the future of your dreams.
“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.”
— Japanese Proverb
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.”
— Henry Ford
HERE ARE MY TOP 9 HACKS TO OVERCOMING FEAR:
Hack #1. SEPARATE FACT (REALITY) FROM FICTION(ASSUMPTION)
Be present in the moment and locate yourself in the moment and ask yourself the following questions….
What is really going on right now?
▪ Am I focused on the past, present or future right now?
▪ What do I have control over right now?
▪ Can I change the past?
▪ What can I learn from this past fact that will help me grow?
▪ Can I influence the future without making the right decision in this moment?
▪ What decision(s) must I make now to influence my future?
Then act based on these facts and prioritise them over any assumptions.
Hack #2. IDENTIFY YOUR FEAR TRIGGER(S)
Be present in the moment and locate yourself in the moment and ask yourself the following questions….
Why am I really afraid?
▪ What exactly happened?
▪ What actually triggered the fear?
▪ What am I really afraid of?
▪ Am I really afraid of what I think I’m afraid of?
▪ So, what am I really afraid of?
Be aware of what actually triggers your fear. Identify this trigger and learn how best to overcome it.
Hack #3. KNOW WHERE THE FEAR IS SPECIFICALLY LOCATED IN YOUR BODY
A lot of times, fear represents itself physiologically and takes over our bodies.
It affects each of us in different ways emotionally, psychologically and physically.
To overcome fear you must become aware of how fear affects you physiologically. This level of awareness in your physical body, helps you determine the intelligence required to do the work, and provides the care that your body needs.
For Example: Even though fear is emotional and psychologically, it often represents itself physiologically.
So, do you find that in the moment when you’re afraid, you grind your teeth, clench your fist, hold stress in your neck or back, and you feel very tense?
To overcome the physiological representation of the fear and therefore overcome the emotion of fear, reverse your physiology, stop grinding your teeth, free your jaw, free and flex your fingers, relax your neck and back muscles by adjusting your poise, do some stretches and focus on your breathing to stay calm and focus on a time you were on top of your game.
“To overcome fear, here’s all you have to do: realize the fear is there, and do the action you fear anyway.”
— Peter McWilliams
Understand that your mind and body are one and the same system, you can access and change your mind, through altering your body.
Hack #4. PRACTICE GRATITUDE DAILY
During difficult times, gratitude is more important than ever.
Research shows that gratitude can help us cope with traumatic and fearful events, regulate negative emotions, improve our well-being and transform our lives.
To benefit from the power of gratitude, just like everything else, you have to daily build your gratitude muscles through practice.
“Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”
— Dale Carnegie
So, every night, develop the habit of journaling by committing to creating a gratitude list of at least 12 things you are thankful for in your life each day.
Gratitude journaling is not about how big or small, gratitude is about simply being grateful for everything about your life.
Gratitude helps shift your mind from negativity into positivity. Because fear dwells on the negative, gratitude overturns and overcomes fear.
Hack #5. LISTEN TO THE MESSAGE DELIVERED THROUGH FEAR
Sometimes it’s a very helpful thing to know that fear is a messenger trying to call your attention to something, or working with your subconscious mind to keep you safe and free from harm. At other times fear can become a barrier that keeps you stuck. Oftentimes, fear triggers the response reactions of freeze, flight, fight etc, all ultimately geared towards your protection.
So, if you suddenly feel fear when called to do a public presentation, pause and ask yourself what that feeling may be trying to tell you.
For example;
Are you unprepared for the presentation?
Is this presentation in your area of weakness?
Is the time too short for you to deliver a great presentation?
Identify the message in the fear and focus on addressing it and you will find that the fear will disappear.
So, to address the fears triggered by the examples given above,
If the fact is, that you are unprepared for the presentation – Then start preparing yourself.
If the fact is, that the presentation is in your area of weakness – Ask for it to be changed to your area of strength.
If the time given for you to deliver your presentation is too short – Ask for more time.
According to James Stephens;
“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”
Find the hidden message in your fear, heed its warning, change the dynamics and you will overcome your fear.
Hack #6. CHANGE YOUR DYNAMICS AND FOCUS
Understand that, negative experiences are temporary, not permanent. Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass.
Focus on creating a positive outcome from the situation, rather than the scary feeling.
Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you see your situation dictates how you feel and respond. So, think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought at a time.
Ask yourself per time, what is one recurring negative/fearful thought I have?
Then start working on reversing that one thought, keep practising this routine, and this will become a habit.
If you change your focus, you will change your experience.
Hack #7. USE BREATHING EXERCISES TO CALM YOUR NERVES
Breathing helps center your body and reduces anxiety; When you are afraid you become anxious, stop breathing and your heart stops beating.
You can do breathing and grounding exercises, taking long breaths can calm and center you.
It is best to make sure you start your day with this, but most importantly practice it all day long.
So, do this when anxious and in fear:
1. Lie down, sit comfortably and close your eyes and allow yourself to calm down
2. Gently breathe in through your nose, mouth closed, for a count of six seconds.
3. Breathe from your diaphragm, don’t fill your lungs too full of air.
4. Inhale for 6 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds, allowing your breath to enter and leave your body slowly and gently.
5. Continue for up to 4 times.
Also incorporate the practise of Yogi breathing, alternate nostril breathing and the lion’s breath, into your breathing routine from time to time.
Hack #8. CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT AROUND YOURSELF
When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when you start having negative feelings – whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.
Hack #9. MEDITATE ! MEDITATE ! MEDITATE !
Meditation helps to overcome fear and anxiety by interrupting thinking patterns that trigger stress.
Wherever you are at any time, you can practice meditation by sitting or lying down, all that matters is that you can relax your mind.
You can choose to listen to calming recordings or music while relaxing your body and steadying your breathing.
While meditating, breathe calmly, visualize yourself relaxed and stress free.
Meditation helps you gain control over negative, limiting, disempowering and intrusive thoughts that trigger anxiety.
Meditation can help you establish new thinking patterns and habits.
Please keep in mind, these are just 9 hacks and strategies, not every hack will work for everyone at all times. But, this is surely a great place to start. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your goals and your highest potential !
Get my book The Morning Commander by using this link http://books.thecatalystng.com/bookstore and read about these techniques and more, that will help you create your ideal day so that you can daily experience happiness, success, fulfilment, satisfaction, peace and joy.
By Lanre Olusola
Source: guardian news
